Since announcing my first book is being published I have had a lot of interesting conversations with people. I’ve also had a lot of strange conversations with people.
For some reason, when you say you are writing a book you seem to get a barrage of odd questions that I’m sure people would never dream of asking anyone else. I thought I’d share a few of my favourites here.
1) I’ve written a book too, how do I go about getting it published?
This is probably the most common question I’m asked and one that confuses me the most. There clearly isn’t an instant fail-safe way to be published otherwise everyone would have done it. I’m happy to give advice to aspiring writers, of course, but this question always makes me feel like people assume there is a three-step guide to follow. Sorry, there isn’t.
2) How much money do you earn?
I have never encountered so many people asking questions and making assumptions as to the material wealth of my book. I’m sure the same people who ask this question would never dream of asking people in other professions this insensitive question. In my “real life” as a company director I have never, ever been asked this question. Which leads me into…
3) When will you quit your day job?
Um. I won’t, I love my job and although I also write now it’s not a replacement profession. Writing and employment are very different beasts.
4) I’ve got this great idea for a story, maybe you could write it and make some money out of it!
I’m sure these people think they are doing me a favour but to me it sounds like ‘write for me, monkey, write!’
5) Can I be in your next book?
Only if it’s a murder mystery.
6) Are you in your book? Is it your life story?
Um. No. I write fiction which is a fancy word for made up. In fact, no one in my book resembles anyone I actually know. None of the things happened in real life. Sorry.
That being said I do like to hear from people about writing and publishing so feel free to get in touch. Though I do warn you, if you ask any of the above you are likely to receive a sarcastic response 😉